Note to Self: when there's not a door there is atleast a window!

It's been a while since I've blogged! I've been extremely busy & hey let's face it not to many people read this anyways, so it's not like it matters. I wish I lived a more exciting life and had more exciting things to blog about, alas I do not.

Well since the last post SO much has happened. A door hasn't opened exactly, but several windows are! I guess we'll start with the job situation, aka Open Window #1!
I've had several interviews, 3 with Lexington Medical Center alone, for a position in their child development center. I've had a phone interview (and hope to hear soon about a face to face interview soon) with Colonial Life for a Traning Assistant position. I have another interview this afternoon with Palmetto Health in their corporate office for an Administrative Coordinator position. So all prayers are accepted and much appreciated! :D

Open Window #2: Met someone, and by someone I mean someone of the male variety! ;) For those of you who don't know, I stepped out of my comfort zone and put myself on eHarmony for the past 2 months. Actually the 2nd month wasn't on purpose, it automatically renewed and I was actually aggravated and didn't even get on it for the first 2 weeks of my second month. Then one day, Sept. 9, I was sent a communication from a guy who was 29 and lived in Columbia and I answered it. Best decision I've made recently! :D We communicated through eHarmony, facebook, and phone until we decided to meet on Sept. 19. Our first date was so much fun, we went to Greek Festival in dwn town cola, then went to the river walk, then ate dinner at Harpers in 5pts, then walked around USC's campus. What a great day to remember! We clicked right off, had many things in common and knew we had a "connection." Apprently eHarmony can work! :) We met for dinner on Tuesday the 21st, hung out again on Thursday the 23rd, and Saturday the 25. Sunday we went to church together and met each others families, mainly so my parents didn't think he was some weirdo off the internet! ;) We are becoming great friends and enjoy each other's company. I already so thankful to Christ for bringing him into my life, he's definately been a bright light in all this craziness of job searching and being heart broken about certain situations in recent months. I appreciate his friendship and genuine kindness daily!

On another note: 2 weekends ago I went to Rock Hill and visited with friends and went to my sorority reunion! Such a fun weekend seeing old friends & being at Winthrop. Made me miss college, or rather my college social life! Also spent time with friends who weren't in sorority but who are some of my most treasured friends. It was great to catch up and I can't wait to see them for Halloween weekend! :D

Other fun happenings coming up: FALL IS HERE!!! I couldn't be more excited! I decorated my house last saturday and it warmed my soul! There is just something majestic about this time of year that renews my spirit. With fall comes the SC State Fair, I hope to go to the fair one night with Glenn, but I'm going 2 other times to 2 concerts, Miranda Lambert (Oct. 15) & Darius Rucker (Oct. 24)! Excited about that!! :D I'm headed to Clemson this weekend to watch the tigers play in 75 degree weather, wearing orange, surrounded by an amazing crowd! Super excited!

Life is finally looking up and I have Christ to graciously thank for opening the windows. I am so blessed by everything he's given me, I know from all that's happened I had to learn something, still attempting to figure out the specifics of what that is exactly, but patience, trust and faith are a few of the things I've learned from it. God has always tested my patience and this is just another layer. I've had to put my trust in Him so much lately to know that everything is going to work itself out and finally I will eternally have faith in Him for making the impossible, possible. I can do all things through Him who give me strength.

Note to Self: Never leave home without your iPod

If it were not for my ipod here lately i might would have gone insane!
my current favorites would be miranda lambert & lady antebellum. they are my new friends at work when i am stuck in the file room all alone for hours at a time... :/
One song that has given me some hope/peace is called "One Day You Will" here are the lyrics:
One Day You Will lyrics

You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now

[Chorus]
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet

[Repeat Chorus]

Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you're made of, you're made of

[Repeat Chorus]

One day you will
Oh one day you will

Seriously, after all the crap that has happened lately in my life it kinda makes me feel better. I have more drama to add to the crap. I officially de-friended on facebook my old boss and all who were associated with her after she posted a rude comment to me on a wall post i had made on one of her daughter's walls. I had posted "I'm addicted to S'more poptarts thanks to you." on the wall and my old boss comment "well atleast she can afford the calories..haha" so basically she called me fat on fb where everybody could see it. Now, previous to maybe 2yrs ago i never had a self esteem problem about my weight, but since i've been consciously trying to watch what i eat and workout and lose weight (which all started shortly after i started working for them) i have been more sensitive about my weight, this she knew, so i guess she felt like "attacking." It sucks that i'm a good person and didn't comment back about how poor her parenting skills are... but that's a whole other story! ...haha in the words of Miranda Lambert, "I don't have to be hateful, I can just say 'bless your heart!'"

In other news: I'm still loving going to Shandon Baptist, I'm really meeting some great people! I don't miss LBC AT ALL!!! I miss the people, but not what was goin on. However, i am enjoying teaching my little first graders in choir. they are super cute and most really want to participate and learn music! it won't be long (like 2 weeks) until we start working on Christmas music, that's both exciting and CRAZY!!!

I've been working like crazy (the 'job') as well as babysitting. Still working really hard to make ends meet. Praying a new job that pays more and is of interest to me is right around the corner!

Excited about next weekend's festivities: Alpha Omega 15yr anniversary/reunion! can't wait to see my sisters! :D

I guess I'm done ranting, venting, and informing for now. Going to plug in my ipod so it's ready for the file room tomorrow, and then goin to bed so I'm ready for the file room tomorrow! Again, never leave home w/o your ipod, you may go insane! ;)

Note to Self: I'm not meant to sit behind a desk.

Well, i made it through my first week at the "new job." and let's just say that, its a job. it will pay bills until i find something else. but i am not meant to sit behind a desk from 8.30-5, answering the phone, filing, sorting mail (although that's the exciting part) or being cooped up in an office with no windows near me.
Ok, now that I've stated the bad stuff about it, I'll share the "blessings." First off, it's a job and i'm getting paid. Second, God not only provided a job, but a ride there. My neighbor works there too, and its been great to be able to ride together. Third, the co-workers are decent, mostly older women who ironically watch days of our lives during lunch, therefore i am a happy camper from 1-2pm. it's fun to watch it with other people and talk about it. :) fourth, there is a set of twin brothers around my age that work there, they keep it entertaining and light hearted around there since at times it can get pretty blah. everyone in general has been very kind and helpful to me in my first week.. hopefully that will continue. :)

in other news, i guess it is safe to say that i have "switched churches." atleast for now. i'm not joining shandon bapt. but i am going to regularly attend. i am enjoying meeting new people my age & going to socials with them. but not only is the fellowship great, but i am growing more spiritually. it has definitely taken my relationship with Christ to a different, deeper, level. i miss lexington bapt. but i am teaching first grade choir there on wednesday nights. it will keep me in touch with LBC people as well as give me an outlet for my creativity and heart to work with children. the first week went great, i just hope more than 7 show up next week. i also have 2 great helpers in there with me that i can already tell are going to be a big help!

this week has been one to remember for sure. thursday night i was faced with making a tough decision. it was hard to make, especially since i had had a horrible day at my new job. after 24 hours of praying and thinking about it, i believe i made the right one. it's amazing how in this huge "trial" i am going through in my life, God was quick to answer this question for me. he won't write out the big picture on the wall for me or send me a letter with "the plan," because i believe he is making me trust in him with my life more. i have nobody else to turn to in all of the things that have happened to me since June, and i think God has stripped everything from me and is causing me to stop and think and trust in Him to provide and slowly reveal His plan for me.

This morning in sunday school we took a look at Psalm 143 and I needed to hear it. It's always cool when God really puts something you need to hear right in front of you. Here is the Psalm I hope it touches you as well.

Psalm 143 A psalm of David.

¹ Hear my prayer, O Lord;
listen to my plea!
Answer me because you are faithful and righteous.
² Don’t put your servant on trial,
for no one is innocent before you.
³ My enemy has chased me.
He has knocked me to the ground
and forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave.
⁴ I am losing all hope;
I am paralyzed with fear.
⁵ I remember the days of old.
I ponder all your great works
and think about what you have done.
⁶ I lift my hands to you in prayer.
I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.
Interlude

⁷ Come quickly, Lord, and answer me,
for my depression deepens.
Don’t turn away from me,
or I will die.
⁸ Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,
for I am trusting you.
Show me where to walk,
for I give myself to you.
⁹ Rescue me from my enemies, Lord;
I run to you to hide me.
¹⁰ Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God.
May your gracious Spirit lead me forward
on a firm footing.
¹¹ For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life.
Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress.
¹² In your unfailing love, silence all my enemies
and destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.

My favorite part of that passage is verse 8, but I like "The Message" version.

If you wake me each morning with the sound of your loving voice,
I'll go to sleep each night trusting in you.
Point out the road I must travel;
I'm all ears, all eyes before you.

Well tomorrow I will be back behind the desk for day #6... but I'm waiting & trusting God will point out the road I must travel and I will quickly get out of my desk chair and be on my marry way to my chosen path. :)

Note to Self: turn over a leaf every so often

so apparently although i have a 4 yr college degree i am not smart enough to figure out how to create a cute blog! :/ i've created the blog because i am going through some serious changes in my life right now, and life could get interesting in the next few months, so why not blog about it.

previous to now (post college life) i thought my life was "set." boy, was i wrong. i went from having a great job, a sweet boyfriend, and having most of my future planned out. to having little to nothing. lost my job, lost my boyfriend, lost my future plans. however, i firmly believe Christ is teaching me something through this entire situation in my life.

so far He has taught me to quit "planning" my life, because if i plan it it won't work out because He already has it planned for me. second, he's taught me now more than ever, to put ALL my trust in him.

currently, i am missing my old job. it was easy, it was great, and it involved a small child. i feel beyond blessed to have left her better than i found her, but it breaks my heart to know that she is going through her days without me now and probably wondering why i left. if you've ever seen the nanny diaries, you can only understand a fraction of what i have been through in the past month.

i had to quickly start a rampant job search. i found, applied, & interviewed for a great position as an early interventionist. but they took someone more "experienced." through a staffing agency, i heard of a clerical/administrative position with the SC Commission of Indigent Defense (the office in charge of public defenders) answering phones, filing, etc. it will be a job to make ends me. i start monday. and i'm trying to be positive and think i won't have to just make lemonade out of the lemons i have been handed. because honestly i am just thankful to have a job to go to monday so i can continue to pay bills and live in my house and drive my car and have electricity and water and groceries. geeeeze life is so expensive. & just because you lose your job, doesn't mean life stops!

for right now i am where i am suppose to be. for some reason.

1 Chronicles 4:10 (New International Version)

¹⁰ Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request.