Note to Self: I'm not meant to sit behind a desk.

Well, i made it through my first week at the "new job." and let's just say that, its a job. it will pay bills until i find something else. but i am not meant to sit behind a desk from 8.30-5, answering the phone, filing, sorting mail (although that's the exciting part) or being cooped up in an office with no windows near me.
Ok, now that I've stated the bad stuff about it, I'll share the "blessings." First off, it's a job and i'm getting paid. Second, God not only provided a job, but a ride there. My neighbor works there too, and its been great to be able to ride together. Third, the co-workers are decent, mostly older women who ironically watch days of our lives during lunch, therefore i am a happy camper from 1-2pm. it's fun to watch it with other people and talk about it. :) fourth, there is a set of twin brothers around my age that work there, they keep it entertaining and light hearted around there since at times it can get pretty blah. everyone in general has been very kind and helpful to me in my first week.. hopefully that will continue. :)

in other news, i guess it is safe to say that i have "switched churches." atleast for now. i'm not joining shandon bapt. but i am going to regularly attend. i am enjoying meeting new people my age & going to socials with them. but not only is the fellowship great, but i am growing more spiritually. it has definitely taken my relationship with Christ to a different, deeper, level. i miss lexington bapt. but i am teaching first grade choir there on wednesday nights. it will keep me in touch with LBC people as well as give me an outlet for my creativity and heart to work with children. the first week went great, i just hope more than 7 show up next week. i also have 2 great helpers in there with me that i can already tell are going to be a big help!

this week has been one to remember for sure. thursday night i was faced with making a tough decision. it was hard to make, especially since i had had a horrible day at my new job. after 24 hours of praying and thinking about it, i believe i made the right one. it's amazing how in this huge "trial" i am going through in my life, God was quick to answer this question for me. he won't write out the big picture on the wall for me or send me a letter with "the plan," because i believe he is making me trust in him with my life more. i have nobody else to turn to in all of the things that have happened to me since June, and i think God has stripped everything from me and is causing me to stop and think and trust in Him to provide and slowly reveal His plan for me.

This morning in sunday school we took a look at Psalm 143 and I needed to hear it. It's always cool when God really puts something you need to hear right in front of you. Here is the Psalm I hope it touches you as well.

Psalm 143 A psalm of David.

¹ Hear my prayer, O Lord;
listen to my plea!
Answer me because you are faithful and righteous.
² Don’t put your servant on trial,
for no one is innocent before you.
³ My enemy has chased me.
He has knocked me to the ground
and forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave.
⁴ I am losing all hope;
I am paralyzed with fear.
⁵ I remember the days of old.
I ponder all your great works
and think about what you have done.
⁶ I lift my hands to you in prayer.
I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.
Interlude

⁷ Come quickly, Lord, and answer me,
for my depression deepens.
Don’t turn away from me,
or I will die.
⁸ Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,
for I am trusting you.
Show me where to walk,
for I give myself to you.
⁹ Rescue me from my enemies, Lord;
I run to you to hide me.
¹⁰ Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God.
May your gracious Spirit lead me forward
on a firm footing.
¹¹ For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life.
Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress.
¹² In your unfailing love, silence all my enemies
and destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.

My favorite part of that passage is verse 8, but I like "The Message" version.

If you wake me each morning with the sound of your loving voice,
I'll go to sleep each night trusting in you.
Point out the road I must travel;
I'm all ears, all eyes before you.

Well tomorrow I will be back behind the desk for day #6... but I'm waiting & trusting God will point out the road I must travel and I will quickly get out of my desk chair and be on my marry way to my chosen path. :)

Note to Self: turn over a leaf every so often

so apparently although i have a 4 yr college degree i am not smart enough to figure out how to create a cute blog! :/ i've created the blog because i am going through some serious changes in my life right now, and life could get interesting in the next few months, so why not blog about it.

previous to now (post college life) i thought my life was "set." boy, was i wrong. i went from having a great job, a sweet boyfriend, and having most of my future planned out. to having little to nothing. lost my job, lost my boyfriend, lost my future plans. however, i firmly believe Christ is teaching me something through this entire situation in my life.

so far He has taught me to quit "planning" my life, because if i plan it it won't work out because He already has it planned for me. second, he's taught me now more than ever, to put ALL my trust in him.

currently, i am missing my old job. it was easy, it was great, and it involved a small child. i feel beyond blessed to have left her better than i found her, but it breaks my heart to know that she is going through her days without me now and probably wondering why i left. if you've ever seen the nanny diaries, you can only understand a fraction of what i have been through in the past month.

i had to quickly start a rampant job search. i found, applied, & interviewed for a great position as an early interventionist. but they took someone more "experienced." through a staffing agency, i heard of a clerical/administrative position with the SC Commission of Indigent Defense (the office in charge of public defenders) answering phones, filing, etc. it will be a job to make ends me. i start monday. and i'm trying to be positive and think i won't have to just make lemonade out of the lemons i have been handed. because honestly i am just thankful to have a job to go to monday so i can continue to pay bills and live in my house and drive my car and have electricity and water and groceries. geeeeze life is so expensive. & just because you lose your job, doesn't mean life stops!

for right now i am where i am suppose to be. for some reason.

1 Chronicles 4:10 (New International Version)

¹⁰ Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request.